GET DOWN AND DYE

tort0ise:

i can’t quite explain how much i love you, but i’ll give it a try…
well, i love you like the stars in the sky, all around the world.
i love you under and over the sun, in the ocean and through the trees.
i love you at the smallest flower to the biggest whale, and the birds flying low.
i’ll love…

It’s 435am, and there is so much on my mind, I can’t sleep. I don’t even know where to start…

Why do you hate me so much? I gave you the world. I loved you with my entire being, and you spit in my face and now try to play the victim.

There have been guys who treated you like a piece of meat, who only used you for sex, yet you always went back to them. There’s been guys who have pretty much raped you, stolen your $600 camera, sold it, who have spread rumours that you fucked him for drugs etc…and you still go back to those same guys; you buy drugs off them and still would fuck them. You told me “I’m not a Hateful person”.

Well, then there is me. I would do anything for you. I loved you so much..so many nights spent staying up until 5am talking you down from suicide, even though I have an exam at 8am. Driving an hour to your house at 3am just to give you a hug because you needed it. I did these things without thinking twice of course. You were everything to me. I bought you flowers, chocolate, that old camera you wanted, I would sing to you, write you songs and just honestly be completely in love with you. And you absolutely hate me. You told me you wish I had aids, or that id fall back into depression, that you hate me, and other horrid things…

I did all these things as you broke promises to me. As you lied to my face without even blinking, time and time again breaking my trust. Remember that concert you wanted to go to so bad? So I scrounged and begged for money so we could go together, and you took the money and bought pills and alcohol with it instead?

I guess I just don’t understand how you could be so nice and forgiving to those other guys…but for me, when I’ve never done anything to wrong you, you hate me. I just can’t figure it out.

“Because love is a homeless guy searching for treasure in the middle of the rain and finding a bag of gold coins and slowly finding out they’re all filled with chocolate and even though he’s heartbroken he can’t complain because he was hungry in the first place.”